The Contender

... is a very good show. God bless Mark Burnett. I am not a huge boxing fan, but this show is tastefully made, and the fights will get you out of your chair. In other news... there is family drama with the brother's health care situation. I feel things brewing and I don't have a particularly good feeling about it. The situation has the potential to be Terry Schiavo-ish if the conditions ripen that way. I'm not saying that it will get there, but it easily can. Part of what is going on is a result of the choices my brother has made. The way he lives, who he married ... they are all playing crucial roles right now. It's a hard thing to try to encourage him to do what he knows he has to - you can't tell him what to do, because he's a married MAN for pete's sake. That's the line that my parents and the rest of us have toed over the years. You can just remind him (and have him yes you to death) over what he needs to do (how to eat, to get some exercise, to go get physical therapy) - but we are always there to clean up after his bad choices. Maybe this is the tired little sister coming out. I love him, but damn - why does he always have to learn the hard way? Why can't he motivate himself to do what he needs to to be at his BEST, instead of just passable? Now that passable has deteriorated into barely functional, we have to be there again. God, I wish he would help himself. It's been this way almost all his life. He's too easygoing, and has always needed my father or mother to drive him to excel. Brother, do you really want to live? I don't feel that you do. I wonder if you ever have, since the last surgery? Since the first? There was a time after the first, most harrowing surgery and its complications when you thrived. We got you back to tiptop shape - you were svelte, confident, handsome. While you were not independent of our parents, you were healthy and visibly cared for. You were a model and won awards in the state. You married your wife despite our parents' disapproval. She knew what she was marrying, supposedly. But did she? She saw what you went through on another round of surgery, chemotherapy, etc. Why is it that you haven't impressed upon her what you need? My parents have been supportive and they try to teach, but they can't tell a married woman what to do. They don't. They try to provide, and you take. But you don't produce on your own, and nor does your wife. Why don't you as a couple do what you need to in order to survive? They give you everything they can, why can't you help them out and just replicate what they do to take care of your body? Mommy said today that Daddy cried. Daddy feels like he let you down. She also says she wants her child back. I don't want to blame your wife, it's not all her fault. It's yours, too! You take and take and take - where is your motivation? You have a son, a beautiful little baby boy - why isn't he motivation enough for you to live? Where is the life in you? Why do we have to keep giving you life to keep you alive? Quit making fucking excuses - you need to make a change. This is your life, not a fucking hobby. You need to man up and do what it takes to live if you survive this surgery. Yes, I'm angry - God damn it, why is it like pulling teeth to get you to do what you have to do in order to live well? You take and take and take - God damn it, if you're going to take, DO SOMETHING WITH IT! Please God, let him survive this. And if it has to come back, you know I'm willing to take it. We all would take it in his stead. Please, please God... please work on his heart. Give him the will to live and the strength to do what he has to in order to make it through this ordeal, and his life. My parents do not want to outlive another child. This is their only son. Please ...