A Host of Stuff

I mentioned a while back that my brother's brain tumor was growing back and spreading. It's actually growing off on the edge of the old tumor - the old tumor area is clean, except for the new offshoot. It's trying to "run." I suppose this means that, for the most part, the experimental drug was successful but maybe could have been administered better. The drug had to be administered by a catheter because the molecules were too big to take via IV or by pill. If they maybe made a cross with the catheters, it would have gotten better coverage of the cancerous cells. This is what my dad thought, when discussing it. It makes some sense. My dad took my brother to a hospital in Baja California for treatment for a couple of weeks just before Christmas. My dad and I had a long talk tonight and this was one of the subjects we discussed. There is some internal strife over the decision to get that treatment. You see, things were kind of scary when they got back because my brother was off-balance and seemed to have taken a turn for the worse. But the MRI they took on Tuesday showed that the new growth had actually shrunk in the last 6 weeks since his last MRI. That, to me, is extremely positive news and I think it validates the decision. This is in comparison to the fact that the thing kept growing at a rate of 25% every few weeks in the weeks prior. Hell, I'd support a second trip if the results are that good. Of course, it all depends on how my brother feels about it. The balance issue may be due to some swelling/inflammation on his brain. He has surgery next week to remove part of the tumor as they can't get all of it without crippling him. The doctor will also see what he can do to alleviate some of the swelling. I had a very, very long talk about some stuff with my dad. Mainly, I listened, really. I find that you learn a lot more from listening than speaking. I try to be objective but you can't do that if you aren't listening and weighing the situation. The thing about not calling home very much means that I don't get to hear about the daily grind of bitching and complaining that goes on between my parents. For my day-to-day peace of mind, it works wonders. I get my fill of the necessary stuff (like the stuff with my brother's situation) and almost none of the stuff about their interpersonal conflicts, which seem to be many and multiplying. I try to be fair to my dad, even though I know he has his own issues with being judgmental, somewhat controlling, and having selective hearing. He's not all bad, by any stretch of the imagination. He is a very loving and devoted father. He has so much strength to take care of things and is very logical. The approach is just something that needs working on. He and my mother, however, have serious communication issues and it's going to come to a nasty breaking point soon. They wouldn't divorce, but it's really reaching the point where they can't live together. It's like Mars and Venus to the extreme. They see things differently, reason differently, and haven't taken any steps to bridge the gap. Gears are grinding against each other. I need to talk to my mother, because I know that there is always 2 sides to every conflict. But as much as I love my mom and am sympathetic to her concerns, she has work to do, too. Relationships are a two-way street, and I believe that there is ALWAYS something you can do to improve the relationship. She has her own foibles and is not blameless, either. This is not going to be easy. They need a neutral mediator who can reach both of them, someone that will be respectful to both of them and that both of them can respect. That person isn't me. I think that they need to find a good Christian counselor that will help them see things from the other's point of view. The match.com dude and I never did get to speak again. He had called me on my cell at work, but I couldn't talk so I got a voice message. I called back and got his voice mail - sorta. His box wasn't set up. I emailed him and let him know that his box wasn't set up. Well, I called again and the box was working. I'm not calling again. Fuck him. I bet he found someone else in the meanwhile that captivated his attention. Good for him, but he didn't need to be rude. Whatever. Should he vouchsafe to call back, I am not going to answer. He can keep talking to my fucking voice mail. So much for that. I am crawling back to Craig's List to find a date for New Year's. This sucks, but I am NOT getting back on the highway to get to DC. I am sick of seeing 95. Fuck that. I don't want to drive more than 20-30 minutes for at least the next month. I have had this one pretty nice looking guy write, and we have gone back and forth a little bit but haven't made any plans yet. Another guy, older but nice, intrigues me a little. Nothing solid, but dammit, I need to wear that velvet dress. I am not going to stay home with the weird roommate (not my quasi-mom, but the other one, who is pretty selfish and that I haven't written about yet). Fuuuuuck that. Sigh. The fun never ends.