Purity

When I went home around Thanksgiving, I was with my folks on the way out and we were listening to the radio. My folks listen to a lot of Christian radio, and I grew up listening to it. This woman came on and started touting this book about sexual purity for girls. I got a little bit pissed. What about books about purity for boys? Why is the onus always on women to stay "pure"? Funnily enough, as I wrote that passage, I decided to google "sexual purity for boys" and found that there is some kind of book out there that has the same phrase. The link I have is in pdf format - read some of it for free. I started reading and it talks about why men find the naked female form so alluring. Um, okay... not quite how I imagined how such a book would start, but I guess I'll just have to keep reading to see what it says. FYI, this book is © 2004. So I'm very curious to see what it says. Even so, most of these books focus on only girls remaining chaste. And that pisses me off. My mother failed to see my argument. I wasn't saying "girls shouldn't be pure" but that parents need to teach boys to value purity as well. My father did understand, but for some reason, it was not sinking in with my mother. I think it's because she watches too much Oprah, as Oprah has had some shows about the advanced sexual behavior of some teenage girls that shocked her. This flashback comes to me as I made my foray into the random date hell that I had for the new year. Soooo many ads were looking for the same damned thing: "friends with benefits", née "fuck buddies", née a constant sex partner that maybe you can talk to. And then there were the honest ones looking for booty calls, offering oral sex, and the sugar daddies wanting to live out their own Indecent Proposal. And all the fetishists, looking for dom/sub relationships, swingers, or racial fetishists that are "curious" about dating someone with different skin color. Whatever happened to wanting a real relationship? Why is sex the focus? Dumb questions, I suppose. As George Michael said in 1987, sex is natural, sex is fun, sex is special when it's one on one. Now, I can appreciate the sexual urge. We all have them. But it almost seems like some people are addicted. I can't imagine sex without emotional intimacy anymore. I've done it, and I really have no desire to go back. And I am pretty tired of sharing myself with guys who are ultimately selfish pricks more focused on physical gratification than sharing a life. Plus, my religious views play into this - I really do want to respect my God's teachings. It's not a matter of withholding sex because my stuff is made of gold, but because I don't want to waste my time being with someone physically who doesn't really love me, as God intended. This is just my perspective, mind you. I'm not unrealistic about other people and that they may view sex differently. The excitement of seduction is very powerful, especially when met with an especially attractive partner. Something is just missing, in my view. Wading through the pile of shit that is m4w is an exercise in patience. And even the "nice guys" want you to give it up. The sexual need comes first, then anything else. Thanks, guys, for caring most about my vagina. Really. I had an interesting conversation the other day with this guy from match.com - not the other one who I played phone tag with. This guy is a little older, had a nice smile, seemed down-to-earth. Worth a try, right? (Speaking of which, I might have cancelled my subscription too late. aargh! I won't know until tomorrow when I see if they charged my card... f'in bastards.) He pegged me correctly, that I am pretty conservative morally. We had a very candid discussion about sexuality in relationships. As expected, he "needs" to make love to the person he's with. Needless to say, we won't be a couple, but we can at least be friends. I may meet him for coffee or something, as after yesterday's post, it is fairly obvious that I am clearly in pretty dire need of some friends up here. Anyway, this is the struggle you face if you want to wait. Most guys just aren't willing to wait. I understand and respect that. Moving on...next! Le sigh. What a cross to bear. Which is why I wish it wasn't culturally ingrained that girls should be the designated standard-bearers of purity. It's frustrating as hell, and some guys don't even want to waste their time unless they know you're going to put out. Why should women bear this frustration alone? Some Christians get it. Some may never get it, and that is a tragedy.