Destiny

This morning I totally dropped the ball - I must have turned off my alarm, because I didn't wake up until 10:30 - after MiDCers should have met up. I felt horrible and immediately messaged the organizer with an apology. Damn, I set the clock for 8am - I must have hit a wrong button and reset the alarm. Next time... So I vegged a bit but then remembered that one of my small group gals was having a birthday today, and I went shopping for a gift. She loves Jessica Simpson, and last week she was talking about how she wanted more of the stuff from Jessica's Dessert cosmetics line. So I wandered down to Sephora in Tysons Corner to find something for her. I got her a lip gloss that tastes like caramel. Everything in Jessica's line is like a tasty confection. It was tempting to get something for myself! But I resisted...maybe one of these months. ;) I have a mental block generally against giving overexposed celebs my money, but if a product is good, I can move past it. And I think that her stuff is pretty good. She loved the gift and screamed when she saw the gloss. It's not the fact that it was something that Jessica Simpson made, but the fact that someone was listening to her. She often doesn't feel listened to, and it was a pleasant surprise to know that someone was listening and picked something tailored for her. One of the other gals bought passes for a screening of Alfie, with Jude Law - one of birthday gal's favorite actors. Again, someone paid attention and thought of her. That was a nice feeling, to know that I helped to make her day. The little party was nice. It was so funny, our group leader brought a game of pin the tail on the donkey as a gag. After church, one of the other gals and I took birthday girl out to dinner. It was a good day overall. Tonight, the pastor talked about destiny - the fact that God has a plan for us and our lives have a specific purpose. Most folks generally won't know their specific purpose until later in life. And even then, everything that happens along the way is designed to shape us to what God wants us to be. This means that suffering is going to happen, and God will use it to affect your character. And not just suffering, but the good things too. Every person, every thing you touch, you are meant to experience at that given point in time. And every one serves a purpose into developing your character and who you are. The question is, what are we taking away from them? Are we paying attention? What good did they serve? Some time before my grandfather passed away last year, he had chosen a verse from the Old Testament for his funeral. It comes from the book of Malachi, the last book of the Old Testament, which discusses the apocalypse. The verse goes as this:

But who can endure the day of his coming? Who can stand when he appears? For he will be like a refiner's fire or a launderer's soap. He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver, he will purify the Levites and refine them like gold and silver. Then the Lord will have men who will bring offerings in righteousness, and the offerings of Judah and Jerusalem will be acceptable to the Lord, as in days gone by, as in former years. Malachi 3:2-4

The significance of the refining metaphor is this: gold and silver are exposed to extremely hot fires so that they can be shaped and molded to the refiner's desire. When the metal is purified, the refiner can see his reflection in the metal - thus, when we are purified through the trials and tribulations of life, God can see himself in us - we are acceptable and pleasing unto God. But the metal can be destroyed, and refiners will typically do so if not pleased with the creation. And thus we will be destroyed if we are not shaped correctly. It's sort of doom-and-gloom unless you look at it this way: when we die, God's work with us is finished. We are removed from the fire. Now, whether it is because we have been purified or whether it's because we are not shaped correctly is God's prerogative. We are continual works in progress. The sucky things that happen are meant to happen for a reason. We should not ask "why me?" - why not you? We should not curse God, because it is not meant to hurt you for some sick pleasure. Shit happens - people die, people suffer incredible losses, people get hurt, and people will hurt you (sometimes without knowing it). We must do our best to deal with it and take away the understanding that God wants to impart to us. The trick is in paying attention and being perceptive enough. I know I tend to have some blinders on in my life - I know that I am not the most perceptive person in the world. But I hope that I can gain more understanding and eventually be more of the person that God wants me to be. That's a slow process, but I'm happy to take it. I might complain too much, but it's not all for naught. Someday whatever it is may sink into my thick skull, and I'll finally get it. It is part of my destiny.