Erased

The lovely Chase tipped us off a couple of weeks ago about a movie coming out soon, Something New. The movie is about a professional black woman finding love with a man outside her race. For once, a credible, big market romantic comedy has a black woman in the lead role. Wow! The lead character is played by the lovely Sanaa Lathan, and her beau is played by sexy Aussie Simon Baker, probably best known for his work on TV's The Guardian. Last year's "Guess Who?" doesn't count - that was more about Ashton Kutcher and Bernie Mac's hijinks rather than the romance itself and its attendant struggles. This is definitely not your typical "black" comedy. My interest was really sparked today after reading this article about the varied reactions to the movie at a screening at Howard University. I watched the trailer. I reeeeeally want to see this movie now! The topic hits home for me, because as a mixed black woman, I often feel the way the Post writer described it: erased. There are generations of feeling erased, not respected in the media. This was originally going to be the subject of my "Invisible" post a couple of posts down, but I got carried away on something else. It is very rare for a black woman, mixed or not, to be the main love interest in a movie. And the STAR, at that. It's exciting to think that a black woman other than Halle Berry, the usual exception, can be considered universally beautiful. This movie is very refreshing. It could blow chunks but I'd still want to see it anyway. Most of the early reviews, however, are good and say that the subject is handled with intelligence. Another thing that struck me in the Post article is this point:

Writer Debra Dickerson, who married a white man and has two children, wrote about this yearning to be recognized in a Salon essay analyzing her discomfort with last year's megahit comedy "Wedding Crashers:" "But somehow, by the end of the parade of weddings crashed and women laid, I realized I was sad. It took me an entire martini to figure out why: The crashers seduced their way through every culture and every ethnicity but mine. Why didn't Owen [Wilson] and Vince [Vaughn] want to seduce me, too? Why don't they want to dance with my nana at a wedding?"

Anything but black, my dear. That's a common phenomenon on dating sites like Match.com. You'll get a match in your box that is cute and sounds almost perfect... and then scroll down and find that he's selected every ethnicity but yours. Or one of yours. Or you'll figure out that the only way he came up as a reverse match was because you happened to also list your acceptable white-alternative ethnicity too. In my case, it's Asian, the new accessory. It's not so much a desire to date white men for the sake of them being white, as clearly not all white men are attractive. It is more the desire to feel universally beautiful, and to have endless options. When I was living in the South, in 1999, a dear girlfriend who happens to be white and I went out frequently and she would get hit on far more often. She was cute, but clearly overweight. I don't begrudge her her successes, because she's a great gal and it's not her fault. But the racial dynamic thing is a real bitch. Another example: the lovely Velvet and I briefly discussed this a while back. If she and I posted an ad on Craig's List, she would get far more responses because she's white. Granted, Velvet is a cool chick and would probably get more responses even if I was white. But still - Velvet doesn't have to put up with the kind of shit that black women have to face every day in the love market. I mean, do a search on CL Rants and Raves for "black women." Make sure you have your barf bag handy. The disturbing thing about it all is that some of us confine ourselves to limits inside race. I mean, come on. A person is attractive, but may happen to have a different skin color. A black woman, a latina, an asian, a native american... they are not to be "experienced" as if one was test driving a new car. For me, there are certain features that I find appealing, and it can cross many races. Probably the hottest guy that I have met in the last year or so was this hot Indian guy that I danced with at Modern in Georgetown. I swoon just thinking about him. Too young, but rawr! Hott. :) As an aside... God, I miss Modern. Much love to Stylus Chris. Anyway...I don't see why black women should be limited in choices when 42.4% of us aren't married (compared to 25% of the general female population) and it's even harder the higher up you go in socioeconomic status. Even more so, as a mixed child with a family like the UN, I find that buying into the residual slave mentality of everything white and everything black in its place is personally offensive. Just because I happen to appear black doesn't mean that I have to limit myself to black men (although there are some gorgeous ones out there. Like my favorite mistake.). I understand the need for black solidarity, but it is disgusting to me that going out with a white man could be seen as "sleeping with the enemy." There is this line in the movie that is revolting. That a couple would have to sit there and laugh at this..."I see you brought your night light with you"...or "Either you're getting your swirl on or you've got your probation officer with you." Americans are really fucked up with this racial thing. Really. This is the legacy of slavery - everything black and everything white in its place, for no logical reason. I want to retch. What I really think is going on is that many white people, men and women, think that just because your ethnicity is listed as black, you will be the "stereotypical black man/woman" that you see on shows like Martin - loud, attitude, brusque. So the fact that this movie is coming out and showing a professional black woman who is sexy, intelligent, articulate, independent, accomplished, and well-mannered - much like me - as being universally desirable is heartening. I am stoked for this movie. Bring it on.