So Much For That

And the answer to the age-old question of "Can Men and Women Be Just Friends?" in this instance is a resounding "no." He proved me right. This time... We had our "just friends" talk in February. Between February and June, we would chat on IM or talk on the phone occasionally. In those months, I have endured a lot of annoying little references - fawning comments, some slight innuendo - nothing rude, just a little flirty. Annoying, but benign. In June I got a little sick of the suggestions of going to the (nude) beach together, and snapped at him. Conversation went from occasional to dead on June 20. Then we get to tonight. He strikes up a conversation. For your pleasure, I'm going to disclose the contents of the conversation, verbatim. All names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Session Start (siryn:Exhibit A): Wed Aug 17 22:45:56 2005 [22:45] Exhibit A: Hey stranger --hope your summer is going well [22:46] siryn: hi stranger [22:46] siryn: it's going [22:46] siryn: how's [Dog’s Name]? [22:46] Exhibit A: cool to hear it [22:46] Exhibit A: she's doing well [22:47] siryn: wunderbar. Session Close (Exhibit A): Wed Aug 17 23:19:31 2005 Session Start (siryn:Exhibit A): Wed Aug 17 23:57:26 2005 [23:57] Exhibit A: what is wunderbar? [23:57] siryn: German for wonderful. [23:57] Exhibit A: you aren't very talkative tonight [23:57] siryn: nor are you... [23:58] Exhibit A: thanks for teaching me something [23:58] siryn: yw [23:58] Exhibit A: hmmm [23:58] Exhibit A: using my own words against me [23:58] Exhibit A: :) [23:58] siryn: i'm working on a creative project. [23:58] Exhibit A: what type of project [23:59] siryn: website. [23:59] Exhibit A: oh yeah [23:59] Exhibit A: what type of website [00:00] siryn: personal [00:00] Exhibit A: personal? [00:00] siryn: yes. [00:00] Exhibit A: what does that mean? [00:00] Exhibit A: do I get the link [00:01] Exhibit A: how's the dating going [00:01] siryn: it's slow [00:01] Exhibit A: why is that as cute as you are [00:02] siryn: i don't get out enough [00:02] Exhibit A: see -- you and I were supposed to hook up [00:02] Exhibit A: then you don't need to get out [00:03] siryn: ha [00:03] siryn: what about you? [00:06] Exhibit A: slow too [00:06] Exhibit A: maybe I need to go outside of America [00:07] siryn: ah, the Russian mail-order brides.... hehe [00:07] Exhibit A: no Russians need apply [00:09] siryn: aw, no discrimination... [00:10] Exhibit A: of course not [00:10] Exhibit A: -- but the Russians are running scams [00:10] siryn: doh! [00:11] Exhibit A: so what's up with the dating looking all cute like you do [00:12] siryn: stuff happens [00:12] siryn: couldn't tell you [00:12] Exhibit A: like what [00:12] Exhibit A: why not [00:12] siryn: work [00:12] siryn: if i had answers, i would tell you. [00:13] Exhibit A: okay [00:13] Exhibit A: I trust you [00:13] Exhibit A: so maybe you are dating the wrong guys [00:13] siryn: really haven't been dating at all. [00:14] siryn: it hasn't been a huge priority [00:14] Exhibit A: why not -- do you like sleeping alone?; I certainly do not -- my bed is too big and I get scared [00:15] siryn: i haven't been overly motivated. [00:16] Exhibit A: why is that [00:16] Exhibit A: okay -- I'm coming over [00:16] siryn: you ask a lot of "why" questions. [00:17] Exhibit A: :) -- I am a lawyer [00:17] siryn: that's true... [00:17] Exhibit A: and so are you -- so lets not make law review let's make . . . [00:18] Exhibit A: did I get your attention? [00:18] siryn: no. [00:18] Exhibit A: no fun [00:18] siryn: sorry... [00:18] Exhibit A: it's okay [00:19] Exhibit A: guess you aren't into the fun thing [00:19] Exhibit A: have you gotten to the beach this summer [00:19] siryn: define "fun" [00:19] siryn: and no, i have not gotten to the beach. [00:20] Exhibit A: being a little bad and, a little innuendo -- a bit of spice over the internet -- clean fun [00:20] Exhibit A: no beach -- that's not good [00:20] Exhibit A: I'm going next weekend [00:20] siryn: no i'm not into "fun" [00:21] Exhibit A: why is that [00:21] siryn: and i'm glad you're getting to the beach - which one? [00:21] Exhibit A: I know -- another why [00:21] Exhibit A: Sandy Hook [00:21] siryn: nice. [00:22] Exhibit A: yes -- I will be ready for Jamaica in Sept -- didn't make it for June -- but will then [00:22] siryn: so what did you do for your birthday? [00:23] Exhibit A: not a whole lot -- went to work and went to a hearing; a friend took me out later [00:24] Exhibit A: and you did not wish me happy Bday [00:24] siryn: belated happy birthday. [00:24] Exhibit A: you're sweet -- thanks [00:25] Exhibit A: are you still on Yahoo? [00:25] siryn: i am [00:26] Exhibit A: so are you still not interested in me [00:27] siryn: i don't think much has changed since we last spoke [00:27] siryn: and there has been no reason for anything to change [00:28] Exhibit A: not sure what that means since we did go out again -- but no problem though since I still enjoyed your company at dinner [00:28] siryn: [First Name], it has been months since we spoke to each other. [00:28] Exhibit A: I must stop beating myself over the head [00:29] siryn: this is why the "being friends" route sucks [00:29] siryn: last i recall, i thought we could be just friends. [00:29] Exhibit A: I have not problem with being friends [00:29] siryn: really. [00:29] Exhibit A: yeah [00:30] siryn: because it feels like the ulterior motive keeps creeping back in [00:30] siryn: "so you are still not interested in me" [00:30] siryn: "are you into 'fun'" [00:30] siryn: fun being sexual innuendo [00:30] siryn: "my bed is so big and scary" [00:30] Exhibit A: but why bring up that we "haven't talked in months" [00:30] siryn: "i'm coming over" [00:30] siryn: because in that time nothing has happened to change my mind [00:31] siryn: what made you think anything would, when we haven't spoken? [00:31] Exhibit A: I guess I'm just crazy [00:32] Exhibit A: my bad [00:32] Exhibit A: I should have remembered our last conversation -- sorry [00:33] siryn: that wasn't our LAST conversation ever, but it's the seminal one [00:33] Exhibit A: I did say "last" :) [00:33] Exhibit A: anyway, I guess I should go walk [Dog’s Name] [00:34] Exhibit A: seminal -- guess I missed that one [00:34] Exhibit A: :) [00:35] siryn: what is this, junior high? [00:35] Exhibit A: hmmm [00:35] Exhibit A: ? [00:35] Exhibit A: junior high? [00:35] Exhibit A: ouch [00:35] siryn: no pun was intended. [00:36] Exhibit A: sorry -- didn't get it [00:36] siryn: juvenile humor [00:38] Exhibit A: did I do that -- so sorry; did not mean it; just being silly I guess -- don't shoot me [00:40] Exhibit A: perhaps we have run our course; or at least we will make it look that way. Anyway, it wat great to meet and talk with you and I wish you the best as you are a great person and definitel would make a great partner -- take care. [00:41] Exhibit A: y [00:41] siryn: it was good to meet you too. take care, and good luck. Session Close (Exhibit A): Thu Aug 18 00:42:07 2005 Session Start (siryn:Exhibit A): Thu Aug 18 00:45:48 2005 [00:45] Exhibit A: hmm [00:46] siryn: what? [00:46] Exhibit A: just wondering out loud -- not quite sure what you typed tonight [00:47] siryn: what do you need me to clarify? [00:47] Exhibit A: only if you want -- still thinking about the Junior High stuff [00:52] Exhibit A: hmm -- take care [00:52] siryn: you too Session Close (Exhibit A): Thu Aug 18 00:52:31 2005 Session Start (siryn:Exhibit A): Thu Aug 18 00:52:41 2005 [00:52] Exhibit A: thank you [00:52] siryn: yw Session Close (Exhibit A): Thu Aug 18 00:52:54 2005 Session Start (siryn:Exhibit A): Thu Aug 18 00:53:00 2005 [00:53] Exhibit A: ? [00:53] siryn: You're Welcome [00:53] Exhibit A: oh -- I did not understand [00:54] Exhibit A: thanks for the shorthand lesson [00:54] siryn: no problem Session Close (Exhibit A): Thu Aug 18 00:58:06 2005

I tried so hard to be kind. I was frustrated as hell because, for a lawyer, he seems to be slow on the uptake. That, plus the fucking innuendo just would not stop. And did he really think I was dreaming about him in the last 2 months? What a gem. In retrospect, I think I see points where we were talking past each other. But still, the fundamental point remains, his suggestiveness was annoying the crap out of me and he was not interested in being "just friends." Thank God tonight happened, because I was going to blow up soon if he kept pushing. At least it ended on a good note.