Some Thoughts on Friendship

My mother has told me in the past that if friends can't stop each other from doing something stupid, that they don't belong together. It makes sense. Why? Because friends don't let friends do destructive things. Like the slogan for Mothers Against Drunk Driving: "Friends don't let friends drive drunk." Friends shouldn't condone stupidity. But at what point do you allow your friend to fall, in the name of "tough love?" At what point do you let your friend learn something the hard way? Is it at the point when that is probably the only thing that will teach them a lesson? Sometimes you have to let friends go and do things in their own time. Some friends are just not going to learn until they get hurt. If you hold back out of apathy or mere discomfort, are you really being a friend? Of course, with things being relative, the silly destructive friend could see it in their mind that you aren't being a friend when you don't support their stupidity. What to do? It might be enough to say that you don't condone the stupidity, and live and let live. It might not. I guess you never know, do you? But that's just it - you will know, because a real friend should accept the fact that you don't agree, even if they are resolute about doing whatever destructive or stupid thing it is they (or you) are dead set on doing. Real friends don't break the connection for frivolous reasons. Real friends, the kind that are more like family, do not grow on trees. A person that is a good friend knows this and acts accordingly. Mutual respect must remain, even when you differ. You should be able to discuss your differences and still remain friends. Real friends are not robots or sycophants. If all you want is obsequious fawning, you don't want a real friend. You also need a shot or two of Grow Up. It's easy to have lots of friendly acquaintances. These are congenial to warm relationships that are mostly superficial. It's like people you meet only when you go to parties. Your lives may occasionally intersect and you may have some common interests, but that's about it. You don't really relate, and your connection is tenuous and ephemeral at best. These people get going - AWAY - when the going gets tough. They don't get their hands dirty, doing the hard things that need to be done - they remain ever polite. Fairweather friends, they are. Nice, but it makes for a pretty hollow living if you can't think of one true, good friend. It's a maturity check. Good friends help you grow into a better person. Hangers-on only stay as long as things are fun and comfortable. Good friend, or a good acquaintance - which are you? edit: Upon further reflection, this simple truth comes to mind - you can't be friends with everyone. And with that, I think, I'm going to get some sleep.