Interactive Fun! (The Saga of Jean Claude Paul)

At the request of the esteemed AUA, I have condensed this drama into a single post for posterity. Marvel at the wonders (or horrors) of online dating. Enjoy!

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Siryn Interactive: Count the Flags!

Tuesday, February 28, 2006 11:15 p.m.

Let's play a game. See how many red flags you can spot in this exchange! Let's start from the top:

From: Jean Claude Paul (This is probably a fake/club name, because it's too fruity to be true.) Subject: hi Hi there, So you're looking for a friend to hang out with? Or is that what you're really looking for? Let me see .... you're 31 and obviously you don't have a boyfriend. You're educated and nice, according to your ad but you're not looking for "the one"? What are you really looking for? Now what do you mean when you say you're nice? Also "mixed"? Mixed with what? You sound like you're new in the area; how long you've been in NY? Are you in NY? I am a white dude, smart, handsome, financially stable, 6' 4", 212 pounds, 36yrs old. I am not looking for just a friend so please clarify what you are looking for. Also, tell me where you live. Jean

So, despite some alarms starting to go off, I respond anyway. Trying to lighten up, right?

Thanks for writing. I think the best way to describe what I'm looking for is a low pressure relationship that is just fun and clean, but if the stars align correctly and that person happens to be the one, I'm game. If not, we can enjoy each other's company for a while. It's not a matter of playing games, it's looking for something that keeps us young in our heads that might lead to something more. If it's not right in the long term, it's not - but I'm not going to make the relationship heavy laden with expectations from the start. What does anyone mean when they say they're nice? Hopefully it means that they are compassionate and polite, or courteous at the very least. Are you nice? Mixed means I'm not white. It doesn't mean multiple white nationalities. Black and Asian. I'm relatively new here, 6 months. Came here for the job. I am in NY, work in midtown but live in Westchester.

Pay close attention now!

You sound like you're a realistic woman. Maybe we should meet and see what happens. You did mention something about sex in your ad, i did not quite get it. I think you said "no sex". What do you mean by that? I know you are realistic, so tell me, what kind of relationship are you gonna have without sex? Did you really mean that? I mean sex is not all, but let face it, sex is important in any relationship, right? I can't marry a woman before i know how she performs in bed. All men think the same, they just don't say it. I DO NOT believe in saving sex for marriage and i am not a religious guy. I have values but i got them from my parents, not my priest. Are you religious? Tell me, what do you do for a living? I am a landscape engineer working in several states and Canada. I was almost married once, since then I've stayed away from committed relationships but i may be getting ready to go back there. My office is in the city and i live in Harrison. I think black girls are hot but i have never been with one. Are you more black than Asian? Why don't you send me a photo of yourself? Maybe a couple of them. I will tell you more about me and my background, after i receive your photo. Got to go TTYL

Holy F. Help me come up with a good response! :) Comments to this post

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Interactive Epilogue

Thursday, March 02, 2006 1:42 a.m.

I wish I had the heart to use the rapier wit you guys showed. I need to let loose sometimes and just have at some of these guys. Prepare to yawn. I responded:

I don't even know where to begin. What part of "no sex" did you not understand? We can't have this discussion because we will be talking past each other. People who do not share the same values can't have a discussion that is going to change the other's mind, so debating the issue is pointless. You either get it or you don't, and you clearly don't get it. I think I'll save us the trouble of any further exchanges and wish you good luck in your search.

I couldn't even come up with anything good to tell him just how wrong/idiotic he was in the way he went about asking about my racial composition. I suddenly caught a case of the hives and just wanted to be done with him, so... that's that. Geez. Comments to this post

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Interactive Epilogue, Part Deux

Thursday, March 02, 2006 4:28 p.m.

This carousel just won't stop.

You sure sound like a tough woman and that's my kind of girl. i still think you are being unrealistic but since you don't want to discuss it, i won't. Other than the sex portion of my email, don't you have any questions for me or something? Why don't we do it your way; let's be friends and then we will see where it goes from there. How about that? Jean

Now I really will just ignore it and won't respond. Comments to this post

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Persistence

Monday, March 06, 2006 10:54 a.m.

If there is one thing I can say about Jean Claude Paul, it's that he's persistent. Check it:

Have you really decided to dis me or you are just taking your time to respond? You think i am a sex pervert, right. I am not; i'm one of the sweetest guys you will ever meet and i could make you the happiest you've ever been. Waiting to hear from you.

Honestly, I don't think that he's some perv. I just don't want the drama that will come with giving this guy an inch. But I also don't care to let him know because I just want the conversation to end. I don't feel like arguing with him, and he seems like an arguer. Comments to this post